All I want

Hey there

All I want is to get a good job doing what I love to do. That is all that I ask for from God; nothing more. And yet, it seems to be the very thing that doesn't happen. It's really hard for me not to become frustrated with Him again, I keep doing the crappy stuff trying to find my way into the film, television and audio worlds and nothing ever opens up for me. I was able to do one project last fall but I couldn't put the bid I needed to put in in order for me to seriously cover my personal expenses, like my loan, for a while. I'm going to probably make less than 1500 for work that I should have billed an additional 5-7000 for. I cut people breaks, do a project here and there for free (or near to it) and no breaks are every made for me. Sorry, it sounds like I am complaining... I'm just asking God to help me understand so that I at least have something to look towards when i have to do the jobs that seriously depress me. So that I can know that I'm not just living my life as a robot to free myself from a flipping loan.
Sorry, i needed to vent... I am very frustrated, bitter and grumpy today. I didn't get much sleep last night and yeah... A couple things that I was really hoping for basically closed on me today. There is still some minor hope that the doors could still be open but from where I am, they look like they're closed.
Anyways, I'll leave you to peace
Gregory